Thursday, May 29

Oh love!

~ An Open Door ~

So many years
Intensity gripped my heart
From birth to now

Be still

Not seen as if
Never approaching
As common as grass

Be still

Before me wide
Open as though
Was I expected?

Be still

Certainly not
What I expected
Shivering, trembling awe

Be still

Not barred by it
Backwards known to well
Freely I step through


Breathing in but
Not enough, winded
Nothing to stand on

Be Calm

All is released
Fallen away into
Loving past. Darkness only

Be Calm

All reference to
Any former vanishes
Tentatively, floating nothingness


Nothing, only everything
Empty, yet full
Opened fully to the embrace

Be light

Light, only light
Flowing outward loving
The light embrace

Be light

Watching light and darkness
Lovingly, gently,dancing
Together, merging in me

En-light-ness, En-dark-ness

Fully becoming
Not surrounding not
Filling. Both and neither

Be fearless

Solid fully standing
On sacred no-ground
Moment, no passing, moment

Be fearless

I am lifted no
I lift myself
Flying past seeming knowledge


Knowing is now
Devoid of knowledge
Separation never was

Be safe

Always at hand
Living unseen in
Each forgotten breath

Be safe

Sunrise, no, not on
The distant shore. Sunrise
The heart-breath flows


Immense and powerful
Weighted and heavy
Holds me, cannot move

Be Peace

Seen clearly now
Danger never was
Defense and attack only choices

Be Peace

Huge gentleness becoming
Free and flowing harmless
Stillness, calmness only safety


Through the open
Doorway traveled many
To where it begins

Be Love

Becoming free only
To voice love, in total surrender
Releases others to become love

Be Love

Seeing only love instead
Of form no longer distanced
You are me, I am you

Be Love

Peace through the doorway
Of letting go unclenches
The heart knowing only love


Love is without
Need and returns as
You are filled, filling another

Oh, love!


Tuesday, May 6

For Michael

Holding you close, always.

My beloved Michael, cherishing the infinite space in my heart you will forever occupy. Love is not bound by time, nor distance, nor dimensions. Wherever you are, and no matter where I am, our hearts will always find each other.

Our thirty years together was merely the doorway to the infinite that awaits us both, when my tears of grief are transformed into tears of joy. May our next adventure be as glorious as this last one.




Last night was hard for me. So much fear, terror, even. Lasted for 6 hours, I don't remember falling asleep, but it was well after 3 am.

Sadly, now I know why. (holding back a flood of emotions and tears) My oldest and dearest male friend, Michael, whom I have known since 1978 has had a massive stroke while living and teaching in South Korea. The doctors say that if he wakes up today he will be a vegetable but that it is more likely that he will not survive that long.

Sobbing, uncontrollable convulsive waves of tears, I love you Michael,..............

Too much grief.