The Path of No Path

At the moment I feel cold. By allowing myself To fully experience the bitterness, .......................................................I feel it moving through me Like the freezing rain and fog outside my window. To do otherwise, This tormented and twisted bitterness Would surely enslave .......................................................my soul. So very cold.

At about 1 am Pacific time on September 11, 2001 I was unable to sleep. As I awoke I was over come with powerful emotions and was then "opened" to a horrific vision that lasted until 5 am. At exactly 6:11 am I was awakened to the the sound of breaking glass, followed by extreme silence. This first poem is from my vision, and the one after it is from my emotions and feelings from the next few days. This was for me, as it was for so many a very intense week in my life. May my experience bring you peace, insight, and love. I love you all, w- Poems follow ====== William, it's time to Wake Up William, they call my name Arriving one by one how the beautiful Sound of tinkling bells fills my room An exquisite delicate ringing That only Angels make It is the Ninth month, the eleventh morning Nine – One – One, Wake up! Wake up! Each with a bell speaking as one Uncountable hundreds or more A symphony of Divine Gentleness My heart pounds, searing burning pain Rips through my chest as...

So here I sit in the hot, hot sun, waiting for the bus!

Ok so 2 days of back to back triple digit heat! Ouch!

Ths drawing of this "forest timekeeper" faerie was for my final portfolio reveiw in my drawing 1 class. I got and "A" on the drawing and that also gave me an "A" for the class. w00t!

~ An Open Door ~ So many years Intensity gripped my heart From birth to now Be still Not seen as if Never approaching As common as grass Be still Before me wide Open as though Was I expected? Be still Certainly not What I expected Shivering, trembling awe Be still Not barred by it Backwards known to well Freely I step through Stillness Breathing in but Not enough, winded Nothing to stand on Be Calm All is released Fallen away into Loving past. Darkness only Be Calm All reference to Any former vanishes Tentatively, floating nothingness Calmness Nothing, only everything Empty, yet full Opened fully to the embrace Be light Light, only light Flowing outward loving The light embrace Be light Watching light and darkness Lovingly, gently,dancing Together, merging in me En-light-ness, En-dark-ness Fully becoming Not surrounding not Filling. Both and neither Be fearless Solid fully standing On sacred no-ground Moment, no passing, moment Be fearless I am lifted no I lift myself Flying past seemi...

Holding you close, always. My beloved Michael, cherishing the infinite space in my heart you will forever occupy. Love is not bound by time, nor distance, nor dimensions. Wherever you are, and no matter where I am, our hearts will always find each other. Our thirty years together was merely the doorway to the infinite that awaits us both, when my tears of grief are transformed into tears of joy. May our next adventure be as glorious as this last one. Keening, William

Last night was hard for me. So much fear, terror, even. Lasted for 6 hours, I don't remember falling asleep, but it was well after 3 am. Sadly, now I know why. (holding back a flood of emotions and tears) My oldest and dearest male friend, Michael, whom I have known since 1978 has had a massive stroke while living and teaching in South Korea. The doctors say that if he wakes up today he will be a vegetable but that it is more likely that he will not survive that long. Sobbing, uncontrollable convulsive waves of tears, I love you Michael,.............. Too much grief.

The process of defining is also the process of creating limits. When I say "I know" I am really announcing that I do not know. When it is announced that "this is the way", the way has already become obscured. Give me an experience of you who you are, of your genuine being-ness and I will be present with you for hours and perhaps a lifetime. Talk to me about what you believe, and after about 10 minutes I will have better things to do. Talk to me about your accomplishments from the past, and I will not be moved. Share with me an idea and your willingness to make it real, in a way that we can accomplish together, and I will stand by your side, so intimately, that the sweat of our combined efforts will hit the ground as a single drop, and I will pray that our journey together never ends. Tell me how to be, and I promise, I will be, not that. Allow me to be naked in your presence, and I will be with you forever. If I open myself to you fully, how will you respond? Naked,...

Past the great river Descending cherry blossoms Walking more deeply

(This was my final essay for my wr-121 class at MHCC. It is an "A" paper and I received and "A" for the course as well) A Tortured Soul 
      BOOM! You are jolted awake, hooded men in black uniforms, having kicked down your door, burst into your bedroom. They throw you face down to the floor and bind your hands. A hood is shoved over your head and its “zip-tie” is cinched, tightly around your neck. Sharply a needle into your arm, you begin to loose consciousness. The sound of your wife, screaming hysterically, is the last sound you hear. You awaken to find that you have been transported thousands of miles beyond the sovereign borders of your homeland and are a prisoner in one of the now, not so secret, CIA sponsored interrogation centers in Afghanistan. You have just experienced what the current US administration refers to as extraordinary rendition, or what you and I would call kidnapping. Still in your hood, two men grab you, strap you to a hard flat board, raise...